Stepparenting
Does anyone else remember that cute little dinosaur from the TV show “Dinosaurs” who would quip quotable quotes from his high chair? He would occasionally whack his dad, Earl, over the head with a frying pan and shriek, “NOT da mama!” When baby wanted mom (Fran), he made no bones about it. If you’re a […]
Guest Blogger: Jacquelyn B. Fletcher Studies show that girls often exhibit more anxiety than boys do after a remarriage. This is an important fact for stepparents to keep in mind. While conducting interviews of stepmoms across the country, I was told more than once that stepmothers were concerned that instead of bonding over shared interests […]
I think I picked up this term, zigzag evolution, from Patricia Papernow’s foundational book, Becoming a Stepfamily. The meat of this concept is that stepfamilies do not evolve in a straight, predictable, line. Rather, they zigzag, more along the lines of the one-step- forward, two-steps-back analogy. While it’s true that all families zigzag to some […]
Your Turn: Where do you turn when stepfamily dynamics have you in a mood? “…this angst brings me to what I call my ‘swing point:’ the point at which my thoughts and feelings cross to the dark side.” As much as I try to stay positive, every once in a while I go into a […]
I like to think of myself as a compassionate person, but sometimes my compassion allowance runs low. I become too tired or too wrapped up in my own work and life issues to show compassion to my kids. That’s when I lose sight of what I call “the good.” Before my stepchildren became young adults, […]
(And Then What Happened When I Was) In my very first post on this blog, I mentioned that I have a big, beating heart for kids. Before I even had kids I signed up to be a mentor to ten-year-old girl who was classified by my mentoring organization as “at-risk.” I never really found out […]
Continue reading about What Happened When I Wasn’t Trying to be Perfect
A friend of mine and I were confiding in each other about what is apparently a bit of a taboo subject. We were discussing the ever-so-subtle differences in the love we feel for our children and the love we feel for our stepchildren or adopted children. We are blessed to have both kinds of relationships […]
Continue reading about Which Love do I Feel for my Stepchildren?
There are several reasons that I’m writing a book about stepparenting children who have lost a parent. A huge one is because I believe that this type of grief changes a lot of dynamics in the stepfamily as compared to a divorce situation. There is no book dedicated to the topic of stepparenting grieving children. […]
Did you know that every September 16 has officially been designated National Stepfamily Day by most of the states in the United States? Today represents the 11th Annual Stepfamily Day. The inaugural issue of reMarriage magazine reports that “…one in three Americans is now part of a stepfamily – that is, a stepparent, stepchild, or […]
Your turn: What topic areas or skills give you an anchor in your stepfamily? Leave a comment at the end of this post. In the early years of developing a relationship with my stepdaughter Brittany, a youngster named Shayla played an important role. Shayla was an intelligent, curious, and playful individual on my side of […]