It seems fitting to write about this topic on the anniversary of 9/11. I
grew up in New York City and vividly remember the Twin Towers being
built. On the fateful day of the crashes in 2001, I wrestled with how to
discuss the events of the day with my children. I felt the need for
some guidelines.
Luckily, many useful resources quickly cropped up on the web, and our
children’s teachers handled questions and discussions in the
classrooms.
These guidelines are not focused on a single event. They can also be
extended to discussions about natural disasters or other tragic events.
I searched the internet yesterday and once again discovered several
amazing, helpful sites. Here are a few of the ones I found interesting
and easy to understand.
Discussing war and peace
http://www.ces.purdue.edu/purplewagon/
This is the home page. The “Parents” and “FAQ” links are great places
to get started. Under the Parents link, the following link takes you to a
wonderful list of activities and fact sheets:
www.ces.purdue.edu/purplewagon/PARENTS/ADDTLresources_Parents.htm
Helping children cope with a disaster
http://web.extension.uiuc.edu/disaster/facts/kidcope.html
Talking with kids about news
http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/news/agebyage_4.html
Here is a brief summary of the top tips:
- Make time to comfort and reassure your children.
- Vary your approach to the discussions according to the child’s age.
For example, younger children don’t need as much detail, and should
not be exposed to a lot of the visual news coverage. Older children
may want to find ways to take action. - Have a “Plan B” when conversation alone doesn’t hit the mark to help a child
make sense of a disaster. Try creative ways to get out feelings and
fears, such as drawing or acting. Observe how younger kids are
playing. Use those opportunities to then comment further about the
events. - Realize that the older a child is, the more they will consult and
believe the buzz from their peers, so ask, “What are your friends
saying about this event?” and listen in. You can always offer to show
them (and their friends) some facts about what happened.
Mama J (Diane Fromme) is a writer, parent, and stepparent located in
Northern Colorado. For more information on her stepparenting book,
go to www.dianefromme.com.
Tags: Communication, Social/Cultural