I was struck, during and after my recent interview with Barbara Bue of KRFC radio, by how little she and I knew about each other and yet how much we had in common as stepmoms. As we are diving headlong into the holiday season, I’m advocating a little reminder to all stepparents to seek out constructive support. This can be with other stepparents, with whom we seem to have instant camaraderie. The only caution I hold dear is not to be pulled down into a whine fest (a wine fest might be OK in moderation, however). I hold out the hope that when stepparents support and mentor other stepparents, we attempt to keep our kvetching to a minimum and instead really problem solve and get productive suggestions flowing.

Another great source of support during the holiday season is the general universe of other parents. Why? I call it a reality check. I can’t tell you the number of times I have…well, whined 🙂  a little about a situation or relationship with my stepchildren, only to have someone who has never had stepchildren turn around and say, “My son or daughter does that too!” Two distinct examples I recall are when my tween stepdaughter asked me to stop walking to school with her, and when my elementary-school stepson wouldn’t finish his homework for me. Some issues are just not stepfamily issues, and I think it’s healthy to recognize we don’t have to make every challenge in the stepfamily a stepmountain!

Keep that close to your heart as you snowball toward your holiday celebrations, especially during the inevitable stressful times that peak and valley throughout the season.

Mama J is a writer, parent, and stepparent in Northern Colorado. The preview audio to her book, Stepparenting the Grieving Child, goes live in seven days at www.dianefromme.com.

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1 Comment on Support and Stepmountains

    National Stepfamily Day (NSFD) will be hosting Facbook’s First Face-a-Thon to bring awareness to National Stepfamily Day. September 16th, 2010. This campaign will run from February 25-March 11th 2010.
    The object to the NSFD Face-A-Thon is to bring awareness to this National Event that is also celebrated in Canada and the United Kingdom. I will be going to the White House this year to petition President Obama for a Presidential National Stepfamily Day proclamation. We need your help!!

    Recruit 5 people to the National Stepfamily Day-Supporting the Cause page. Once the 5 people JOIN, Email me at nationalstepfamilyday@yahoo.com with the names of those you recruited. Your name will go into a drawing. You can enter as many times, each submission requires 5 new people that have joined. Drawing will take place on March 12th, 2010. Winners will be announce on the National Stepfamily Day website (First name and last name initial only) and on the Facebook – National Stepfamily Day-Support the Cause Group.(http://www.facebook.com/?ref=h.....038;ref=ts) Winners will be notified by email.

    •National Stepfamily Day T-Shirt

    •National Stepfamily Day Mug

    •National Stepfamily Day Magnet.

    •National Stepfamily Day Tote Bag

    •4 Session Packages (1 hour each) with a 30 min. intro call with Brigitte Wangberg of My Life Instruction. http://www.mylifeinstruction.com/

    •On April 29, 2010 from 8-9pm EST, Remarriagemag.com CEO Paula Bisacre will host a live audio seminar, “The 5 Practices that Make the Most Difference for Blended Families,” exclusively for contest winners. Should you be one of the winners, you will receive call-in instructions within 5 days of the winner’s announcement. And, if you can’t attened over the phone, we’ll email you a link to the audio recording – so you can listen later. However, we encourage you to phone in for the live event – it’s going to be fun! Remarriagemag.com

    •Enrollment in Creating A Successful Stepfamily by Joan Sarin MS of StepmomSOS.com – a six-week online webinar covering all the fundamental principles you need to steer your stepfamily towards success!

    How to invite:

    On the National Stepfamily-Supporting the Cause page (http://www.facebook.com/?ref=h.....038;ref=ts)
    Below the logo (left side of page) there is an “invite people to join” click on that to invite:

    Husband, Wives, parents, grandparents, adult children, siblings, brother/sister in laws, cousins, friends, neighbors and co workers! You can also place this on your Facebook Wall.

    Good luck and thanks for your support!

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