No matter whether you are biological mother, stepmother, or both, Mother’s Day can be an emotionally-loaded holiday.  (Often no where near as tasty as a loaded baked potato!) Over the years I  found that my expectations for Mother’s Day became my biggest enemies. I’ve learned that if I have expectations for Mother’s Day I need to fulfill them myself!  For example, I want to get our yard trimmed up and blooming this Mother’s Day, so I’ve carved out from noon til 6 p.m. to work in the yard. Yes, I’m asking my family to join me too, and I’m sure they’ll pitch in (thankfully the forecast says 79 degrees for Sunday!)

I thought I’d reiterate some wisdom that has worked for me to make Mother’s Day so much more pleasant over the years.

1. Take Mother’s Day into your own hands. Plan something that makes it your day, as opposed to waiting for someone else to do something for you. What did Tom Petty say? “The waiting is the hardest part!”  Yeah. Don’t wait; take action.

2. Be bold enough to celebrate an entirely different day with your stepchildren. I really believe (but only after years of experience!) that this holiday is not your day to celebrate with them. Whether she is dead or living, your stepkids have a mom, and this is the day to honor their mom. I’ve found conflicting information about Stepmother’s Day. One site said May 1, so that would be appropriate to celebrate this week. Another site said the Sunday after Mother’s Day, originating from on a daughter’s wish to separate celebrating a day for her mom vs. a day for her stepmom (see?).

3. If your own mother or mother-in-law are around, do something special for her/them. If it’s something you enjoy too, all the better! If weather permits, do something outdoors. Or catch a special movie together. Giving can feel as good as receiving. Maybe even better.

4. No matter what you choose to do on Mother’s Day, remember that it will feel best if all parties are sincere in what they can give. If the most sincere gift is to offer nothing, in my opinion that is better than something that feels forced.

God bless all moms and stepmoms, and the important work that we do!

Mama J is a Northern Colorado writer, parent, and stepparent. She specializes in articles and essays about family life and family dynamics.

Tags: , , ,

Leave a Reply